BRIAN MAY COMING UNHINGED PT. II: SCHOOLMARM SMEAR

Brian "I use my guitar as a weapon" May rests his devilish derriere upon a Celtic throne, firmly clutching his "Precious" with his signature death grip.

Bozo-coiffed "Nastiest Eyebags" Guiness World Record-holder Brian May has viciously attacked animal conservationists, poiticians, farmers, journalists, and countless others in his startlingly anger-filled Soapbox hateblog, and now he's taking out his uncontrollable rage on another "evil" (in his sick mind) group: female schoolteachers.

Yesterday, May again took to his blog and unleashed a tirade of sheer fury on English primary school headmistress Anne Docherty after she cancelled a school trip to see May's racy cashcow musical "We Will Rock You", deeming it "inappropriate" for the young would-be viewers after watching the production herself, subsequently requesting a refund for the large amount of seats the school had ordered.

From May's Soapbox:

"It's a little far-fetched of this lady to imagine that all that money can be refunded on just one person's (rather misguided) opinion !

People's jobs and careers depend on productions like these. I imagine she would have to go about proving that our show was able to damage children. It's nonsense, really, of course. The average South Park episode contains a hundred times more 'unsuitable' material than a family musical ever could. Perhaps this lady needs to ask herself if she wants her TV license refunded ! I think she's embarrassing herself. It's a pity she can't find something worth-while protesting against ... like animal cruelty. Or cruelty to children.


Bri "

Guess what, Herr May? That schoolmistress' job and career depend on her decisions as to what is appropriate for the children under her care to watch. She went and watched WWRY for herself (something she probably should have done before ordering all the tickets, but still), and felt that the dissociative (Matrix programming), innuendo-laden jukebox musical was indeed too adult for the young students. Chances are, some parents would not have exactly appreciated their children being exposed to smuttily-dressed adults making sex-oriented jokes across the backdrop of an Orwellian dystopian society - a foreseeable scenario which could have potentially put Docherty's own livelihood in jeopardy. Even the West Dunbartonshire Council education chief, Terry Lanagan backed Mrs. Docherty's decision, saying: "I stand by her judgment."

Let your EXPERT OPINION advisers illustrate how senseless Permo's online tantrum really is, sentence-by-sentence:

-It's a little far-fetched of this lady to imagine that all that money can be refunded on just one person's (rather misguided) opinion !
Such a kind and noble way to address a customer who has special issues with their service! Bravo! Hairzilla doesn't sound bitter or defensive at all!

-People's jobs and careers depend on productions like these.
Really, BM? I highly doubt that the cast and crew of WWRY will be cast out as street urchins due to the cost of refunding the school's money. Quit being a fucking drama queen.

-I imagine she would have to go about proving that our show was able to damage children. It's nonsense, really, of course.
Well, surely it would be no more damaging to the children than oh say, their smutty father leaving their mother for some EastEnders tartlet shortly after the birth of his third child, right Bri?

-The average South Park episode contains a hundred times more 'unsuitable' material than a family musical ever could.
Uhh...what is that even supposed to mean? Obviously the headmistress would never allow the schoolchildren to watch South Park during instructional hours, so that's a completely irrelevant, knee-jerk response.

- Perhaps this lady needs to ask herself if she wants her TV license refunded !
Again, irrelevant. What Mrs. Docherty watches on television during her free time, in her own home has no relation whatsoever to her choosing what is or isn't appropriate for the school curriculum.

- I think she's embarrassing herself.
Yes, BM. SHE'S the one who should be embarrassed here, clearly. Because none of your countless online butthurt bitchfits are cause for humilation. No, not at all...asshole.

- It's a pity she can't find something worth-while protesting against ... like animal cruelty.
Way to dismiss the woman's work in the educational system, shaping children's futures and all.You know what, BM? Maybe she would be just as interested in "animal rights" as you [supposedly] are...if she was also fronting a political diversion group and had the prospect of impending knighthood as a reward. May we remind you Herr May, that up until a couple of years ago, your entire history with animals consisted of a massive collection of leather clothing and a dead cat named Squeaky. And let's not forget your questionable presence at the scene of a recent cat death.

 - Or cruelty to children.
You know what would be a cruel thing to do to children? Expose them to Brian May and the fucking crapfest that is WWRY: The Musical.

TAGS: BRIAN MAY COMING UNHINGED, MENTALLY UNRAVELLING FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE, PUKE RIDDEN FAIRYTALES, SCOTLAND YARD IS COMING FOR YOU, ANCIENT UNCHAINED EVIL, DEMONS, TULPAS, REPTILIAN SYMPATHISERS, SOAPBOX RANTS, EYEBAG WORLD RECORD HOLDERS, DEFENSIVE DIVAS, HISSYFITS, WE WILL ROCK YOU MUSICAL TOO SEXY FOR KIDS, THE SUN, BRIAN MAY HATES TEACHERS, BRIAN MAY HATES EVERYTHING,  DRAMA QUEENS, ORANGE YOGURT, BUTTHURT BITCHFITS, PERM CARE AND MAINTENANCE, ONLINE OUTBURSTS, QUESTIONABLE CAT DEATHS, BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE, SMUTTY JUKEBOX MUSICALS