K E R R Y L Y N N B O N N E A U C R A Z Y INTO 2011, OR The Ballad Of Kerry Lynn and Brian Bonneau

TODAY, THE EXPERT OPINION BLOGGERS HAVE BEEN FORCED INTO DOING SOMETHING WE NEVER IMAGINED WE'D HAVE TO DO: PUNISH A RECALCITRANT COMMENTOR WITH A HUMILIATING ARTICLE DETAILING THEIR ASTOUNDINGLY INCOHERANT INTERNET RAMBLINGS.
FOR THE PAST MONTH OR SO, THE EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS HAVE STOOD ASIDE BREATHLESSLY AS KERRY LYNN BONNEAU OF NEWBERRY, MICHIGAN HAS BEEN HAVING HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE OUTBURSTS ALL OVER THE COMMENTS SECTION OF POPULAR WTYS ARTICLE "KERRY ELLIS: BRIAN MAY'S CAGED SONGBIRD?". IT SEEMS THAT MRS. BONNEAU BELIEVED THAT SINCE THE ARTICLE HAPPENED TO CONTAIN THE FIRST NAMES OF BOTH HERSELF AND HER ESTRANGED HUSBAND, BRIAN BONNEAU, IT WOULD BE A GREAT OPEN FORUM FOR HER DELUSIONAL AND SEEMINGLY ENDLESS METH RANTINGS.

NATURALLY, YOUR EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS WERE CURIOUS AS TO THE VALIDITY OF THE COMMENTS. HOWEVER, SINCE KERRY LYNN SEEMS TO LACK ANY SENSE OF UNDERSTANDING THAT IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO WRITE FIRST, MIDDLE, AND LAST NAMES, OR THE CITY AND STATE IN WHICH YOU LIVE ON THE INTERNET, WE WERE ABLE TO VERIFY THAT KERRY LYNN IS A REAL PERSON...A REAL FUCKING CRAZY PERSON, AT THAT.

FOR ANYONE NOT FAMILIAR, HERE ARE THE MAJOR PLAYERS IN THE SAGA:

KERRY LYNN BONNEAU: A WOMAN OF RAGE FILLED WITH ANGER FOR HER ESTRANGED HUSBAND, BRIAN BONNEAU (WHOM SHE MET IN 1989 AND MARRIED IN 1997), SHE NOW CLAIMS TO BE "PREGNANT FOR" A MAN NAMED JEFF FAUSNAUT'S BABY, AND TO MAKE THINGS MORE COMPLICATED, IS ALSO EXPECTING HER "FIRST NATURAL GRANDCHILD". SHE PLANS TO "GO SOUTH TO FLORIDA FOR COLLEGE". IN HER SPARE TIME KERRY ENJOYS WORKING ON HER AUTOBIOGRAPHY, PUBLISHING IT SEGMENT BY SEGMENT ON THE OBVIOUSLY BRIAN MAY-THEMED MEGABLOG, WE THINK YOU SHOULD: KEEPING AN EYE ON BRIAN MAY.

BRIAN KEITH BONNEAU: ESTRANGED HUSBAND OF KERRY LYNN, WHOM HE MARRIED IN 1997 AND CHEATED ON AT LEAST ONE TIME, ALLEGEDLY WITH HANNAH DAVIS. HE'S CURRENTLY SERVING TIME IN THE SLAMMER FOR A HUGE METH LAB BUST. SINCE HE AND KERRY ARE EXPECTING THEIR "FIRST NATURAL GRANDCHILD" IN AUGUST, KERRY LYNN URGES HIM TO "PLAY WITH REALITY".

HANNAH DAVIS: SAID BY KERRY TO BE A "PATHECTIC ANEREXIC BTCH", AND A "WHORE WHORE WHORA", SHE HAILS FROM TOLEDO, OH AND IS ALLEGEDLY THE MOTHER TO BRIAN BONNEAU'S "BASTARD CHILDREN". FREQUENTLY TAUNTED BY KERRY LYNN VIA CRAZY INTERNET COMMENTS, SHE IS THE UNDERDOG IN THIS WHOLE SORDID TALE.

JEFF RONALD FAUSNAUGHT: REBOUND BOYFRIEND OF KERRY LYNN BONNEAU, AND THE MAN WHOM SHE CLAIMS TO BE "PREGNANT FOR". JEFF AND KERRY LYNN SHARED A VERY ROMANTIC EVENING TOGETHER ON DECEMBER THIRD, DURING A DATE IN IDA, MICHIGAN, WHICH KERRY LYNN REMINESCES ABOUT FONDLY.

NAOMI MILES: KERRY LYNN'S GRANDMOTHER, REKNOWNED WIDELY FOR HER FAMOUS SAYING, "YOU OUGHT TO GO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE".

HERE ARE JUST SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS. HOLD ON TIGHT AS KERRY LYNN DRAGS US THROUGH EVERY EMOTION IN HER STUNNING LITERARY TURN:

KERRY AND BRIAN BONNEAU M A R R I E D 1 9 9 7 said...
WHEN KERRY AND BRIAN BONNEAU MET 1989 KERRY WAS SO PRETTY WHAT HAPPENED BRIA SAYS IM A HYPRACONDRATIC BUT HES A FELON .IVE LET MY BOOBS GO AND MY HAIR BRIAN BONNEAU YOUR WIFE COULD LOOK LIKE SHE USE TO BUT WHY EVEN BOTHER AFTER YOUR LAST FELON.HANNAH DAVIS BRIAN BONNEAU DOES HAVE A WIFE YOUR A LOUSY PIECE OF GARBAGE,AND ITS OBVIOUS YOUR PATHETIC.WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER BRIAN BONNEAU ISNT THAT DESPERATE,HE HAS A WIFE AND DAUGHTER ITS CLEAR TO ME YOUR TRASH FROM THE WORD GO.YOU OUGHT TO GO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE AS NAOMI MILES MY GRANDMA SAYS.SO THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR HANNAH STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND YOU PATHECTIC BTCH.THIS MESSAGE IS BEING SENT OUT TO NEWBERRY MICHIGAN FROM TOLEDO.
November 24, 2010 5:21 PM

Anonymous said...
"lets not forget that kerry is brian bonneaus wife and she isnt gay sorry and kerry lynn isnt a whore.. brian is gonna laugh when he hears such a thing.brian screwed that so called hannah drag queen btch.i have to laugh because she is the one pathetic."

"run into trouble do you want a broken jaw, your nothing but a whor whore whora.thats my spousel song to you bri.by the way find out who your bastard son and daughter father is and its not my spouses bastards."
 
"i got news for you your not gonna be able to handle brian bonneaus crap either.hes a no good .so if i end homeless maybe ill live with you.which i wont because i plan to go south for college."
 
Anonymous said...
also bann people off telecommunication systems do you hear an echo?
December 9, 2010 5:55 PM

Anonymous said...
kerry lynn is pregnant for jeff fausnaughts first born child and soon to be married.what names well i thought about jillian or jude or baby jeff junior fausnaught but keep it simple right.jeff and i are do in spring, and were excited.he calls me his long life coach well oh hannah im thrilled.ive loved this man since 2009 and i couldnt be more in love xoxoxo to jeff ronald fausnaught.december third 2010 we had romantic date in ida michigan at saint joes church .and last night we had date at cross road and he stated the fact athat we are long life partners.i have 21 minutes to express my love for jeffery ronald fasunaught hes my long lost love and i need him to hold me close on cold winter nights when hes not so grouchy but never the less i need him and the day we are married it will be all the better. mackenzie rene miles is maid of honor chrissy fausnaught is brides maid and olga salter groomsman are jeff haun manny everitt and lee old timer.i hope we are married at st josephs church in ida michigan thats my pledge to him.so hannah you and brian bonneau get in with life and im with jeffery fausnaught and we are moving to florida.most likely.
December 10, 2010 10:06 PM

"brian bonneau and i are expecting first natural child and hannah can raised it brian bonneaus ex affair. so in vent pregnancy book diet book."

"brian bonneau dont be so stupid your the did it to our marraige,and your the one who sits in fedral lock up.your the one you sack of garbage.you can suffer it out now .1997 was our wedding and now your expecting our first grand child in august.so play with reality."

Anonymous said...

B R I A N K E I T H B O N N E A U 1 9 8 9 M A R R I E D 1 9 9 7 T O H I S W I F E K E R R Y L Y N N B O N N E A U .
December 16, 2010 3:14 PM

"your nothing but a whore whore whora .rock on lord rock on lord as we reach to the other side wont you rock on us lord full of his mercy full of his grac eas we step up to jesus holy face as we reach the line rock us out lord . soon to be copy right @by lyrics written by kerry lynn brian bonneaus wife since 1997."

"hey bri i can count toe ten uno dos tres quattro cinco sies siette oucho nueve diaz"

"Anonymous said...

ITS DECEMBER 23RD YOUR RIGHT THIS ISNT MY BLOG WRITER IN DECEMBER 23RD HEATHER COWELL.THIS IS YOUR COUSIN AND I APOLIGIZE."

"hannah davis why dont you consider suicide your the one that slept with kerry bonneaus hubby brian bonneau?brian bonneau why dont you consider suicide?"

In conclusion, the EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS would like to thank Kerry Lynn Bonneau for her patronage of WTYS, but wish to let her know that however entertaining for their profound insanity, any further off-topic comments by her will be deleted. We do urge Mrs. Bonneau to start a blog of her own, which we would surely subscribe to.

EXPERT OPINION NOTE: WTYS WILL RETURN TO ITS NORMAL POSTING SCHEDULE IN THE NEW YEAR. BOTH EXPERTS A AND B ARE RECOVERING WELL AFTER A MUCH-PUBLICIZED SERIES OF PSYCHIC ATTACKS (ALSO BEING STALKED BY FREEMASONS AND ASSAULTED WITH A MYSTERIOUS PURPLE POWDER, MORE DETAILS TO COME). ZOROASTRIAN CLEANSING RITUALS HAVE MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR US TO ONCE AGAIN SEE A BRIGHT FUTURE FOR WTYS, AND TO BE WELL ENOUGH TO WORK. KEEPING AN EYE ON BRIAN MAY IS AN EXTREMELY DRAINING, 24/7 TASK THAT CERTAINLY INVOLVES MANY DANGERS, BOTH SEEN AND UNSEEN. TRUST YOUR EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS WHEN WE SAY THAT A LOT OF CRAZY SHIT HAS HAPPENED WITH RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS DURING OUR SABBATICAL, INCLUDING A COVERED-UP CAR CRASH INVOLVING MAY'S SON JIMMY, WHICH OCCURRED AT THE SITE OF A T-REX BAND MEMBER'S FATAL AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT - AND SO MUCH MORE. WE LOOK FORWARD TO POSTING OUR NEXT FULL ARTICLE AND WISH ALL OF OUR READERS AN AMAZING, PSYCHIC ATTACK-FREE NEW YEAR.

TAGS: CRAZY COMMENTS, WHORE WHORE WHORA, PLAYING WITH REALITY, RECALCITRANT FANS, HUMILOPHILES, TMI, INTERNET SOAP OPERAS, KERRY LYNN BONNEAU, CURIOUS CAR CRASHES, PSYCHIC ATTACKS, MYSTERIOUS PURPLE POWDERS, TONY BLAIR, MASONIC SURVEILLANCE, NATURAL VS. UNNATURAL GRANDCHILDREN, KERRY ELLIS-BRIAN MAY AFFAIR, ADULTERY, WOMEN OF RAGE, METH LAB BUSTS, DELUSIONAL RANTINGS, POODLE-PERMED CADS, BRIAN MAY EATS THE SOULS OF INNOCENT CATS, SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION, LEATHER TURTLES, PSYCHIC SMOKE ATTACKS, M A R R I E D 1 9 9 7, ANEREXIC BTCH, TOM HULCE ILLUMINATI CASTOFF, CASTAWAY PROGRAMMING, STEVE GUTTENBERG