MAY RESPONDS TO WTYS's ALLEGATIONS

In a transparent move, BRIAN HAROLD MAY has gone on an image-overhaul mission in response to We Think You Should.

The hirsute "GUITARIST" released footage of himself "PALLING AROUND" with his "FRIEND" "MR. MEAT LOAF" in order to dispell the shocking stalker rumours which have surrounded May since our exclusive report. In reality, these videos are similar to those of the terrorist group Al Qaeda. Says a source, "Notice how the film posted on May's blog was only filmed from the waist up. No-one could see the semi-automatic weapon that Brian was holding against his captive."

But, viewers are able to see the sinister, demented look of satisfaction that May seemingly could not hide as he showed off his hostage like a prized pig.

Attempting to "blast" another report, May announced plans to release the Hammersmith '75 concert on DVD. "Brian was PISSED when he read the article revealing his drug use in the '70s. He feels that if he does release one of the older shows, it will demonstrate he was confident in his playing abilities of the time."

"But", the source continues, "I don't know who Brian thinks he's fooling. He was absolutely smashed through that concert in '75! I'd be shocked - stunned - if the footage ever truly was released. I have a feeling this is just another of his lies to mislead the public".

BRIAN MAY DRUG SHAME PART ONE: Why the 1970s Queen Concerts will NEVER be released on DVD!

Sources estranged from ex-Queen BUILD YOUR OWN BOAT guitarist BRIAN MAY say the reason that only QUEEN = FREDDIE MERCURY concerts from the 1980s have been released by "QUEEN PRODUCTIONS" (BRIAN MAY + ROGER "CYBORG" TAYLOR) is because the POODLE-PERMED GUITARIST was highly intoxicated on ALCOHOL AND MARIHUANA thru much of the 1970s and frequently proved UNABLE to play up to his current "standards."

We demand that FREDDIE'S shining moments be released, regardless of HAIRZILLA's stoned-ass lack of talent.

KEYWORDS: QUEEN PRODUCTIONS, C-LEBRITIES, CANNABIS, CYBERKINETICS, QUEEN=FREDDIE MERCURY, PERMO, HAIRZILLA,

MEAT LOAF LIVING IN FEAR AS STALKER NIGHTMARE TAKES OVER LIFE

 Rotund power-rocker Meat Loaf has been telling his friends and family that if he dies, it wasn't suicide - but don't call the cops.

In a shocking bombshell report, friends have come forth with claims that the heavyset metal artist is "going crazy with paranoia" ever since he recieved a threat - written in blood, and affixed to his front door on an arrow.

"Meat won't talk about who has been harassing him. It seems as though he's scared for everyone's safety. We're all confused and worried - and now he's disappeared. It's like hiding has become his whole world", says a pal.

Strangely, the portly performer's exile came directly after a supposed collaboration with Build Your Own Boat featuring Paul Rodgers guitarist BRIAN MAYBEIKILLEDFREDDIE fell through. 

"Hiding has become his whole world"

"I heard they were going to be working on an album together, or at least going in to record. Then something went wrong. At first, Meat was excited, but then he just stopped talking about the whole May thing. Then when he dropped out, and got the threat, things just spun out of control. His wife doesn't even know where he is."

"I don't know if May has anything to do with this, but whoever is doing this to him has scared the living hell out of him. We just want him to come home".

MAY RAGES AS JOURNALIST REVEALS TRUTH ABOUT PERM

The world caught a glimpse of Brian May's growing rage problem when May took to his blog, personally attacking a journalist who reported that May did not come out of the womb with a TEASED, AQUA-NETTED BIRD'S NEST on his head. In a startling tirade, May blasted:

"My God, grow up Peter Clark...you really are pathetic. Another piece of crap....the fatuous "poodle perm" fantasy...Can none of these dimwits understand that some people are actually BORN with curly hair?"

Yes, Bri....I'm sure he understands that some people have naturally curly hair, as does everyone. But it seems that you are not one of those people. In fact, it seems that you've been caught in yet another lie. I think the pictures tell the story themselves...unless your mum took a flat iron to your hair in kindergarten. It's my EXPERT OPINION that you are a HARD-CORE GERICURL ADDICT.

MAY RELEASES TINY SLAVES

IN A SHOCKING MOVE, PERMO RELEASED 2 TINY SLAVES INTO THE WILD AFTER SEVERAL YEARS IN CAPTIVITY IN ANTIQUE BIRD CAGES KEPT IN THE BASEMENT OF HIS SOUTHAMPTON ESTATE, NEVERFRED RANCH.

UNFORTUNATELY, SOURCES CLOSE TO PERMO SAY THAT AFTER A DECADE OR MORE AS GUINEA PIGS IN THE BUILD YOUR OWN BOAT GUITARIST'S LAB, THEY MAY STILL BE IMPLANTED WITH HIGHLY-ADVANCED MIND-CONTROL CHIPS OR POSSIBLY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF MAY'S DARK OCCULT POWERS.

KEYWORDS: C-LEBRITY, DO NOT REPRODUCE WITHOUT PERMISSION AND A LIVE LINK TO BRIANMAY.COM, EXPERT OPINION

KISS THE PIG

 RICH KIDS HAIRZILLA AND ROGER "CYBORG" TAYLOR POSING WITH DYKE-POP DIVA PIG DURING THE FILMING OF THEIR PEPSI-SELLOUT.

THAT BRIAN MAY, HE'S OUT OF SHAME, MAN!

KEYWORDS: EXPERT OPINION, RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS, PIG, GET THIS PARTY STARTED, JEW OF MALTA

A MOST DANGEROUS GAME

BUILD YOUR OWN BOAT guitarist RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS is living fearlessly, despite a number of published reports that QUEEN fans are rising against him for THE COSMOS SUCKS HAIRY COCK and CLAIMING TO BE A DOCTOR. Let's hope this guy doesn't kill HAIRZILLA before he can be punished for his use of the term "QUEEN"

KEYWORDS: EXPERT OPINION, THE RICH KIDS, SMILE, EXPERT OPINION, RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS, BUILD YOUR OWN BOAT, DO NOT REPRODUCE WITHOUT PERMISSION, KILL BRIAN MAY, Q+PR, EXPERT OPINION, FAG COMPANY,

BODY LANGUAGE

RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS, LOOKING OVERJOYED, GIVES AN OLD "SIEG HEIL" TO THE CROWD AS HE LEAVES THE HOLOCAUST MUSEUM.

KEYWORDS: EXPERT OPINION, EXPERT OPINION, THE RICH KIDS, SMILE, BRIAN MAY, Q+PR, C-LEBRITY, NAZI, RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS, EXPERT OPINION, DO NOT REPRODUCE WITHOUT PERMISSION.

PROFITING FROM FREDDIE'S DEATH, TOGETHER

 

BUILD YOUR OWN BOAT guitarist BRIAN MAY cuddling here with pop whore MIKA, whose Freddie name-drop has earned him millions. Maybe they just get their perms done together.

KEYWORDS: MIKA, SPITTING ON FREDDIE MERCURY'S GRAVE, Q+PR, THE COSMOS SUCKS DICK

HAIRZILLA SNUBS STEWART

 

ONCE AGAIN, PERMO SHOWS HIS TRUE COLOURS. MAYBE NO-ONE WOULD RECOGNIZE HIM IF IT WEREN'T FOR HIS INSATIABLE ADDICTION TO GLYCEROL MONOTHIOGLYCOLATE AND SNORTING FREDDIE'S ASHES.

EXPERT OPINION.

DO NOT REPRODUCE WITHOUT PERMISSION AND A LIVE LINK.

KEYWORDS: BUILD YOUR OWN BOAT, Q+PR, BRIAN MAY, PERMO, HAIRZILLA, LIES

BRIAN MAY LIES AGAIN

SELF-PROCLAIMED ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST SIDESHOW BOB TALKS NEARLY CONSTANTLY ON HIS "EXPERT OPINION" SOAPBOX ABOUT HIS COMMITMENT TO SAVING HEDGEHOGS, SNAILS, SLUGS, etc. CONTACT People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals HERE to tell them to start a campaign to expose PERMO's fur-hat-loving sick games.

KEYWORDS: BRIAN MAY, HAIRZILLA, PERMO, SIDESHOW BOB, PETA, LIES, EXPERT OPINION, FUR, PUKE