BRIAN MAY'S LUNAR BLOOD DIAMOND

PERMED MENACE BRIAN MAY IS TERRORIZING OUTER SPACE YET AGAIN - THIS TIME IN A DESPERATE BID TO ACQUIRE A NINE-HUNDRED CARAT MOON  DIAMOND TO FUEL HIS WICKED, ANCIENT SORCERY. THE COLORLESS, INTERNALLY FLAWLESS DIAMOND SAID TO HAVE ORIGINATED IN ONE OF THE MANY MOON-MINES OPERATED BY GREY ALIEN ENTITIES IS MORE MASSIVE - AND MORE PSYCHICALLY POWERFUL - THAN ANY STONE THAT CAN BE FOUND IN THE DEBEERS MINES ON EARTH.

A SOURCE HAS COME FORWARD TO WTYS WITH THE STARTLING TALE OF HOW BRIAN MAY SLAUGHTERED UNTOLD NUMBERS OF ALIEN BEINGS ON HIS INTERSTELLAR TRIP TO CLAIM THE LARGEST KNOWN PURE CARBON SPECIMEN IN THE UNIVERSE.

"THE SECOND HE HEARD THE RUMOURS ABOUT THE SPACE DIAMOND, BRIAN RACED HOME, SHOVED ANITA IN HER CAGE, AND BOARDED HIS PSYCHIC SPACE ELEVATOR. MAY KNEW HE NEEDED THAT DIAMOND - LIKELY FOR USE AS A DEMONIC TALISMAN - AND HE DIDN'T CARE WHO - OR WHAT - HE HAD TO KILL TO GET IT."

 UPON REACHING HIS LUNAR DESTINATION, THE SPIRAL-MANED SCOUNDREL GLEEFULLY  BLEW THE BRAINS OUT OF DOZENS OF GREYS BEFORE THEY FINALLY GAVE UP THE LOCATION OF THE GIGANTIC STONE.

"IT WAS A FUCKING BLOODBATH OF GREYS - THERE WERE BODIES EVERYWHERE."

BUT THE SLAUGHTER WASN'T TO END THERE, AS THE BAGGY-EYED MEDUSA CONTINUED TO PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSE THE ALIEN DRONES UNTIL THE MINING OPERATION WAS COMPLETE.

"BRIAN MADE IT CLEAR TO [THE GREYS] THAT HE WANTED THAT FUCKING DIAMOND, AND HE WANTED IT YESTERDAY. HE HAD EVERY BEING ON THE HOLLOW MOON BASE*** TOILING AWAY IN THE MINES IN ORDER TO EXCAVATE THE MYSTICAL GEMSTONE. IF IT SEEMED TO MAY THAT ONE OF THE ENTITIES WASN'T WORKING AS FAST AS IT POSSIBLY COULD BE, THERE WOULD BE SWIFT RETRIBUTION. "

INDEED, IT APPEARED AS THOUGH MAY TOOK EXTREME PLEASURE IN ADDING AN UNPRECEDENTED NUMBER OF TALLIES TO HIS BODY COUNT DURING HIS MURDEROUS MOON MISSION.

 "BRIAN BRUTALLY PUNCHED THOSE LITTLE BEINGS IN THEIR BULBOUS HEADS UNTIL THEY POPPED LIKE CHERRY TOMATOES.  HE SHACKLED THE ALIENS INTO CHAIN GANGS AND BEAT THEM WITH HEAVY WET ROPES. HE KICKED THEM WITH HIS LEATHER THIGH-HIGH BOOTS AND STOMPED ON THEIR FRAIL BODIES. ONE OF THE CRITTERS SUCCUMBED TO AN ESPECIALLY GRUESOME ATTACK WHEN MAY GOUGED ITS INSECT-LIKE EYES OUT BARE HANDED AND GREEDILY DEVOURED THEM WHILE ITS SHOCKED COMRADES ABSORBED THE SCENE. THE MANNER IN WHICH HE PROCEEDED TO DEFILE THE BEING'S EYE SOCKET WAS ABSOLUTELY UNSPEAKABLE. ANOTHER SICK SCARE TACTIC WAS TO PULL THE SLOWER ONES OUT OF THE GROUP, FORCE THEM TO PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE - AND WHEN IT WAS OVER, THE SURVIVING PLAYERS WERE CALLOUSLY FORCED TO CONTINUE THEIR TOILING IN THE MINES. THERE HAVE EVEN BEEN WHISPERINGS ABOUT PARANORMAL SNUFF FILMS. BRIAN MAY TAUGHT THOSE SOULLESS CREATURES THE MEANING OF TRUE FEAR DURING HIS SADISTIC RAMPAGE."

One of May's many extraterrestrial victims struggles to survive the aftermath.

 AFTER HOURS OF FEVERISH PRECISION LASER-WORK AND TRAUMATIC PUNISHMENT, THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL SLAVES HAD FINALLY FREED THE ENORMOUS ROUGH STONE - BUT RELIEF WAS NOT TO COME FOR THE ANCIENT ALIEN RACE. WHEN PERMO SAW THE BOULDER-SIZED PRECIOUS GEM IN THE ARMS OF THE GREYS, HE BECAME AROUSED BY AN INTOXICATING COCKTAIL OF ADRENALINE, ENDORPHINS, AND SHEER FURY.

"BRIAN WAS ENRAGED THAT THESE CREATURES WERE TOUCHING HIS DIAMOND, AND IMPULSIVELY OPENED FIRE UPON THEM IN A PARANOIA-FUELED, MANIACAL FUGUE STATE. HE EMPTIED ROUND AFTER ROUND INTO THEIR THEN-LIFELESS BODIES UNTIL THEY BECAME NOTHING MORE THAN THICK PUDDLES OF ENTRAILS."

FINALLY, THE POODLE-PERMED SADIST HAD HIS ULTIMATE PRIZE. HE RUSHED TO THE DIAMOND WHILE INCANTING IN SUMERIAN. THE GREYS, HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF THE LANGUAGE, BECAME EXTREMELY FRIGHTENED BY WHAT THEY HEARD AND SAW AND TURNED TO RUN OUT OF THE MINES.

"MAY BEGAN INDISCRIMINATELY FIRING HIS WEAPON AT THE FLEEING GREYS, EMITTING SHRIEKS OF EVIL LAUGHTER THE ENTIRE TIME. THE BEINGS WERE OVERWHELMED WITH TERROR - THEIR PATHETIC SCREECHES ECHOED ACROSS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON AS THEY ESCAPED."

BUT PERMO'S ATTENTION SOON REFOCUSED ON THE MYSTICAL CRYSTAL. MAY'S EYES TURNED BLACK AS HE SNAKED HIS ARMS AROUND THE HULKING STONE, CAUSING IT TO EMIT AN EERIE CRIMSON GLOW AND, WITH A SWIFT SWIPE OF HIS CAPE, HE AND THE DIAMOND DISAPPEARED IN A THICK CLOUD OF SMOKE AND BACK TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER MECCA KNOWN AS SURREY.

THOUGH THE LUNAR CARNAGE IS OVER FOR NOW, OUR SOURCE CLAIMS THAT THE TRUE NIGHTMARE SURROUNDING THIS GALACTIC CONFLICT DIAMOND HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN.

 "MAY WILL LIKELY USE THE STONE AS A SOURCE OF INSIDIOUS POWER FOR HIS SICK NEW TOY - THE DOUBLE-NECKED RED SPECIAL...AND IF THAT'S THE CASE, WE'RE ALL PRETTY MUCH FUCKED. THAT THING IS THE MOST MALEVOLENT PIECE OF WITCHERY I'VE EVER SEEN."


***The moon, an artificial mechanical structure designed and built by extraterrestrial entities, is said to contain a monstrous mothership which houses hundreds of thousands of beings inside the hollow moon's core.

 TAGS: HOLLOW MOON, INTERSTELLAR BLOOD DIAMONDS, ALIEN CHAIN GANGS, SUMERIAN INCANTATIONS, CHERRY TOMATOES, INSIDIOUS TALISMANS, DOUBLE-NECKED RED SPECIAL, FUGUE STATE, BRIAN AND THE PSYCHIC SPACE ELEVATOR, STOLEN TESLA DOCUMENTS, ANITA'S VULTURE CAGE, EXTRATERRESTRIAL SLAUGHTERHOUSE, PUNCHING GREYS, REPTILIAN SHADOW GOVERNMENT, FORKED TONGUES, I SEEN A ENTITY, SCUM PONDS, ORANGE YOGURT