HOW WILL PERMO DEFEND THE BADGERS THIS TIME???

The four words that changed my life: Gordon Ramsay sex dwarf.

Prestigious UK news outlet The Sunday Sport has reported the tragic loss of sex star Percy Foster, a diminutive dead-ringer for acid-tongued celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. The tiny Ramsey doppelganger was found dead - and partially eaten - in a Welsh badger den.

Foster, 35, had just filmed a starring role in the fanciful fetish flick Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Up Your Arse We Go. It's unclear how the tiny trollup ultimately met his fate in that 6' deep slaughterhouse, but it can be assumed that BADGERS - esoteric creatures which represent shapeshifting, among other things - were undoubtedly responsible for eating a large portion of the petite porn star.

The incident has conveniently gone without mention on badger propagandist Brian May's Soapbox. May has claimed that cows were responsible for giving badgers TB, and continues to advocate endlessly against culling the bloodthirsty midget munchers. It's becoming clearer and clearer to your EXPERT OPINION advisers at WTYS just why the sinister scumbag feels *such* an affinity toward these nasty - and deadly - woodland menaces.

No word yet on how this relates to the Tiny Slaves.

TAGS: GORDON RAMSAY SEX DWARF, PORN STAR KILLED BY BADGERS, WOODLAND MENACE, PERCY FOSTER, BADGER BODY COUNT, ANCIENT UNCHAINED EVIL, INSANE EYEBAGS, TREACHERY, DISNEY VILLAINS, THE BADGER HAD A PERM, THE TINY SLAVES CONNECTION