Note: Your EXPERT OPINION advisers recommend that you play the above video while reading this post in order to create the right ambiance.
DEAR READERS OF WTYS,
As you probably already know, keeping an eye on Brian May is an endless and mentally/spiritually/physically taxing job which recently has begun to take a toll on the staff of We Think You Should. In an effort to allow ourselves some time to recover/shield ourselves from the psychic attacks/warfare we've been dealing with lately, your EXPERT OPINION advisers have decided to reach out to all of those who know the truth about monster-maned trickster Brian May.
IF YOU, OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAS ANY INFORMATION ABOUT BM WHATSOEVER, REAL OR IMAGINARY, THAT YOU BELIEVE, FOR WHATEVER REASON, WE THINK YOU SHOULD NEEDS TO EXPOSE TO THE PUBLIC, INCLUDING (BUT NOT LIMITED) TO:
-FRIGHTENING REAL LIFE ENCOUNTERS WITH MAY
-PSYCHIC VISIONS REGARDING MAY
-BOMBSHELLS YOU'VE DISCOVERED ONLINE
-GOSSIP HEARD FROM AN INSIDE SOURCE
-SUSPICIONS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THE VICTIM OF A PSYCHIC ATTACK BY MAY
-A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO HAS AN UNHEALTHY ADMIRATION OF MAY
-NIGHTMARES INVOLVING MAY OR ANYTHING QUEEN-RELATED
-ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE TINY SLAVES
-YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW DEVELOPING SYMPTOMS OF BMD
-INFORMATION REGARDING DEACONIST PROPHECIESPLEASE CONTACT THE EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS AT WETHINKYOUSHOULD@GMAIL.COM, OR LEAVE A MESSAGE IN THE AMATEUR OPINION SECTION (COMMENTS). WE CAN OFFER COMPLETE ANONYMITY, AS WE OBVIOUSLY UNDERSTAND FEARS OF REPERCUSSION BY MAY AND WILL DO OUR BEST TO CLOAK THE IDENTITY OF ANY VICTIMS BRAVE ENOUGH TO COME FORTH.
I once gave Brian May a plate of cheese blintzes to paint my fence. The fucker took the blintzes and ran away.
ReplyDeleteI always have strange Queen nightmares/dreams, always Freddie pleading to me to save him. Than I wake up. Its quite strange, because its like he is an angel. And the last person I see is BM, and he has "devil" eyes. I have it every night, don't know if it just me or not.
ReplyDeleteIn the late 70s, I shared what I thought was to be a steamy night of passion with Roger Taylor. It turned out like a scene from RL Stine's classic Goosebumps novel, "A Shocker on Shock Street". while we were making love, I suddenly felt an electric shock in my vagina - and not the good kind. My hands searched his body, and to my horror, I discovered what felt like a control panel with wires and buttons in it. I immediately excysed myself to the bathroom and escaped out the window.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your site, something came over me. I don't even know what it was, but I felt compelled somehow. It was almost like a possession. I got up, walked to the water closet, and stared into the mirror. For whatever reason, I uttered aloud the name "Brian May" three times. To my utter horror, a terrifying hairy apparition appeared through the looking-glass; I believe to this day it was May himself. The entity let out a spine-tingling cackle, and suddenly the mirror blasted into shards and the apparition disappeared. I spent the rest of the evening cleaning up the broken glass and wondering what the hell had just happened. To this day I'm still deathly afraid of perms, which has debilitated me from leaving my home.
ReplyDeleteJust a couple of years ago, I was homeless, living on the streets of Surrey. One night, I took refuge in a darkened alley-way. Just as I began to fall asleep, soothed by the fleeting warmth of my own urine, I was startled by what sounded to me by a whispery voice, speaking an ancient tongue such as Sumerian, hissing between syllables. A figure came into focus, and its eyes began to glow red. At first I thought it had an enormous head, but then I realized the huge mass had to be its hair. Terrified isn't even the right word to describe how I was feeling. I immediately went into shock. As my cold, wet trench-coat began to mysteriously heat up again, I realized that I was bleeding profusely (later on I would find out that I had lost the baby). Anyway, from all the shock I found myself going into automatic pilot (or hobo, lol) mode, and I was unable to stop myself from asking the figure for some change. It was an action I would come to regret for the rest of my life. The second I uttered a sound, the figure fixed its evil gaze intently upon me. I could feel the entity's ancient rage, and I immediately realized that whatever this was, it was hundreds of thousands of years old - and extremely dangerous. Without warning, and before I even had time to process what was going on, the figure reached into its cloak...and then I heard gunshots. The cardboard box I had been lounging in exploded as a bullet tore through it. The garbage cans surrounding me were upturned in a hailstorm of gunfire. To my sheer dismay, I watched in horror as my can of Colt 45 erupted all over the piss-soaked pavement. The bottle was only about an inch away from my face, and at that point I knew I'd have to play dead if I wanted to come out of this alive. After what seemed like thousands more bullets were fired, an eerie silence fell through the alleyway, and I heard the sound of Gestapo boots loudly approach my supposed corpse. A sharp pain shot through my body...I was sure he had blasted a bullet straight to my side, but I realized it was only a sharp kick from what felt like a steel-toed stiletto boot. The demon laughed like a maniac, and exclaimed in a frightening whisper "It's like shooting fish in a barrel", presumably in reference to firing an automatic weapon at vagrants in alleyways (odd, since none of the bullets even came close to hitting me). He disappeared into a cloud a black, thick smoke, which filled the alley with a foul-smelling odour. Since that day, I have cleaned up my act. I listen to my John Deacon and the Immortal albums each morn and pray. I feel as though this has something to do with what will happen in 2012, but I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteRecently I've been feeling a nearly uncontrollable urge to buy all of the Red Specials sold at Brian May Guitars, even the Mini May. I had that same urge, which I was unable to control, when Brian May was the spokesperson for the Ovation roundback acoustics. I just KNOW it's the work of the devil because I can't even play the guitar! Heaven help my bank account (and my neighbors ears) if May ever starts promoting grand pianos.
ReplyDeleteYou are all fucking insane.
ReplyDeleteI think you're fucking crazy, "imaginary stuff", "psychic attacks"? That means that some of your posts are fantasy?
ReplyDelete