HOW WILL PERMO DEFEND THE BADGERS THIS TIME???

The four words that changed my life: Gordon Ramsay sex dwarf.

Prestigious UK news outlet The Sunday Sport has reported the tragic loss of sex star Percy Foster, a diminutive dead-ringer for acid-tongued celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. The tiny Ramsey doppelganger was found dead - and partially eaten - in a Welsh badger den.

Foster, 35, had just filmed a starring role in the fanciful fetish flick Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Up Your Arse We Go. It's unclear how the tiny trollup ultimately met his fate in that 6' deep slaughterhouse, but it can be assumed that BADGERS - esoteric creatures which represent shapeshifting, among other things - were undoubtedly responsible for eating a large portion of the petite porn star.

The incident has conveniently gone without mention on badger propagandist Brian May's Soapbox. May has claimed that cows were responsible for giving badgers TB, and continues to advocate endlessly against culling the bloodthirsty midget munchers. It's becoming clearer and clearer to your EXPERT OPINION advisers at WTYS just why the sinister scumbag feels *such* an affinity toward these nasty - and deadly - woodland menaces.

No word yet on how this relates to the Tiny Slaves.

TAGS: GORDON RAMSAY SEX DWARF, PORN STAR KILLED BY BADGERS, WOODLAND MENACE, PERCY FOSTER, BADGER BODY COUNT, ANCIENT UNCHAINED EVIL, INSANE EYEBAGS, TREACHERY, DISNEY VILLAINS, THE BADGER HAD A PERM, THE TINY SLAVES CONNECTION

BRIAN MAY HATES ANIMALS PART INFINITY; OR, IN WHICH THE WICKED WITCH OF SURREY CONTINUES TO WEAR LEATHER GUITAR STRAPS

STEREOSCOPIC NUTJOB BRIAN MAY (SEEN HERE WEARING A PYRAMID-EMBLAZONED TUNIC AT THE LOTUS AUTOMOBILE COMPANY-SPONSORED KERRY ELLIS 'ANTHEMS' CONCERT IN LIVERPOOL EARLIER THIS WEEK) IS STILL WEARING LEATHER GUITAR STRAPS, DESPITE A VOW TO STOP WEARING/PEDDLING THE DEAD COW STRAPS AFTER WTYS' "BRIAN MAY HATES ANIMALS" SERIES PREVIOUSLY EXPOSED HIM.

MAY'S CAGED SONGBIRD KERRY ELLIS WORE A BDSM-THEMED CRYSTAL-ENCRUSTED CORSET TO SYMBOLISE HER ENSLAVEMENT UNDER MAY.

PYRAMID & ALL-SEEING EYE - SUGGESTIVE LOTUS AUTOMOBILE COMPANY LOGO, ABOVE.

TAGS: BADGER WORSHIP, ALL-SEEING EYE IMAGERY, SUN GOD WORSHIP, SUGGESTIVE TUNICS, LOTUS AUTOMOBILES, DRIVEN BY YOU, WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER UNLESS YOU CAN KILL FREDDIE AND TAKE HIS PLACE IN THE SPOTLIGHT?, EXECRABLE AXEMEN, STEREOSCOPIC NUTJOBS, RAGE-FUELED SOCIOPATHS, ISLAND OF DR. BRIAN H. MOREAU CBE, CHRONIC ADULTERERS, STYLING YOUR OWN HAIR WITH BRIAN MAY, GUMS-SO-BLACK, GORILLA-AWAY MIST, HORSE-ZAPPER, 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER BM'S PERM, FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO POR FAVOR!

HAIRZILLA FUMING OVER ROYAL WEDDING SNUB

It was a blissfully BM-free day for His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Master of Arts and his elated bride, Miss Catherine Elizabeth, Duchess of Cambridge.

The highly aniticipated and much-lauded "Wedding of the Century" happened this morning at London's Westminster Abbey. Billions of eyes were watching as Prince William and his stunning bride Kate were joined together in holy matrimony in what is regarded as the fairy tale marriage of the millenium. However, among the noted royals, nobles, and dignitaries present at the joyous event, one thing was conspicously absent - the mottled bale of perm-fried hair which is attached to the head of Dr. Brian H. May, Commander of the British Empire. True to form, the rageaholic badger blaster was none too pleased about the regal cold-shouldering. 

"Brian was PISSED when he found out he didn't make the guest list. When Anita tried to console him, May just called her a whore, kicked her in the vag, and collapsed into a pool of mercurial goo, similar to Alex Mack or those Capri Sun commercials. The gelatinous puddle of May then slithered out the bottom of the doorway. Even Anita hadn't seen that one before".

BM, Prince Charles, and robotic drummer Roger Taylor (in his Rod Stewart form - notice how they're never photographed in the same place at the same time) pal around at the Palace Garden Party.

Due to May's closeness to the Royal family, his iconic "pied piper" moment playing "God Save the Queen" atop Buckingham Palace, and his "old friendship" with Charles, Reptilian Prince of Wales, it was speculated by many that the demonic dilettante would indeed be in attendance at the historic ceremony. Just days ago, in a desperate bid for a last-minute spot on the guest list, Permo nervously joked during an interview that his royal invitation "must have gotten lost in the mail". May, who once infamously threatened to have a local politician's "guts for garters" over his alleged stance on the rights of badgers and hedgehogs, proceeded to give the bloodthirsty Prince Charles a free pass regarding his slaughter of untold numbers of Britain's ancient fox population during Royal hunting excursions. May chooses to ignore the foxes of the Royal body count, saying "diplomatically" (or, more accurately, hypocritically), "I have a very high regard for [Prince Charles], but then he's been VERY good to me. I know there are areas on which we disagree, so I don't bring them up. I don't want them to come between us".
 So why, then, was the marauding mophead denied entry to the illustrious debut of Britain's future king and queen despite his cozy relationship with Prince Charles? Sources from inside Buckingham Palace have come to We Think You Should claiming that the Royal snub had nothing to do with May's buddy Charles - it was a precautionary move taken by the bridegroom himself. Furthermore, the source goes on to claim that Wils' decision to block BM from attendance had to do with a haunting warning issued to the young Prince William by his dearly departed mother Diana, Princess of Wales.

May frequently - and eerily - compares Freddie with the tragic Queen of Hearts.

One source says that the beautiful Diana, who famously claimed she feared there were those who were out to get her, advised her eldest son about May just weeks before her tragic conspired murder. "He's no good", she warned. "He frightens me...and I know he wants something from us. He's not to be trusted." Later, at his mother's own funeral, "Wils was petrified near the point of tears upon catching a glimpse of May's unbridled joy."

From then on, the orphaned young prince has been wary of the baggy-eyed reptilian dark mage and has made a concerted effort to keep a keen distance from May. "Years later", the source goes on, "when William caught wind that BM was, in fact, involved with Prince Harry's Nazi photo shocker (a move orchestrated to disgrace the bastard ginger prince), Wils vowed then and there to hit May where it hurts: by barring him from the Royal Wedding - no matter the cost."

A final shocking incident confirmed Prince William's darkest fears about May - and shook the future king to his core. "Wils had made an appointment to meet with HRH Queen Elizabeth regarding some wedding plans soon after the official announcement. As the palace guards opened the doors to the throne room, William caught a glimpse of a terrifying sight: his grandmother, the Queen of England, was not only in reptilian form - but bowing down on her hands and knees to a velvet-cloaked Brian May. William saw the Queen look up at May and whisper "your Majesty.." as she licked his foot with a brittle, black, forked tongue. William just turn and ran. Harry kept asking him what was wrong over and over again, and when Wils was finally regained enough composure to answer, he only managed to mutter "I don't know what I saw, Harry. I don't know anything anymore."

A smug BM applies an extra-strong deathgrip to both his CBE and mistress-turned-wife Anita. The sci-fi folk minstrel is gunning for a dukedom, or at the very least, a knighthood.

Another source claims that William definitely has good reason to worry. "BM is panicking that William and Kate will shut him out of the Royal circle and shutter him from high profile events when they take over the throne (if the Queen ever dies). He's already seeing it happen, and he's definitely NOT thrilled about it."

"May always was jealous of Diana, and felt she was a barrier between himself and Prince Charles - and he found it difficult to hide his pleasure upon hearing the news that of her devastating murder by the hands of the Queen."

"Everyone's saying Kate is the next Diana - I just hope for her and Will's sake, she isn't."

TAGS: ROYAL WEDDING CELEBRITIES, BRIAN MAY AT THE ROYAL WEDDING, THE PRINCESS DIANA CONNECTION, WILLIAM AND KATE KISS, FASHION BUG, TONYA HARDING, CAPRI SUN, SNICK, PRINCE HARRY NAZI SETUP, CHRONIC ADULTERERS, SNUBS, DODO SLAYERS, BRIAN MAY STILL HATES ANIMALS, BRIAN MAY DOESN'T CARE IF PRINCE CHARLES KILLS FOXES BUT HE FUCKING WANTS YOU DEAD IF YOU DO IT, HYPOCRITES, PATHOLOGICAL LIARS, CLOAKS, REPTILIAN SHADOW GOVERNMENT, ILLUMINATI RITUALS, DAGGER RAPE, RAGEAHOLICS, TWO-BIT UKELELIST, KATE MIDDLETON BIKINI, POTATO BEARS, KATE MIDDLETON NUDE PICS, ROYAL SNUBS, PRINCE WILLIAM VS. BM, BRIAN MAY AND THE WINDSORS

BRIAN MAY COMING UNHINGED PT. II: SCHOOLMARM SMEAR

Brian "I use my guitar as a weapon" May rests his devilish derriere upon a Celtic throne, firmly clutching his "Precious" with his signature death grip.

Bozo-coiffed "Nastiest Eyebags" Guiness World Record-holder Brian May has viciously attacked animal conservationists, poiticians, farmers, journalists, and countless others in his startlingly anger-filled Soapbox hateblog, and now he's taking out his uncontrollable rage on another "evil" (in his sick mind) group: female schoolteachers.

Yesterday, May again took to his blog and unleashed a tirade of sheer fury on English primary school headmistress Anne Docherty after she cancelled a school trip to see May's racy cashcow musical "We Will Rock You", deeming it "inappropriate" for the young would-be viewers after watching the production herself, subsequently requesting a refund for the large amount of seats the school had ordered.

From May's Soapbox:

"It's a little far-fetched of this lady to imagine that all that money can be refunded on just one person's (rather misguided) opinion !

People's jobs and careers depend on productions like these. I imagine she would have to go about proving that our show was able to damage children. It's nonsense, really, of course. The average South Park episode contains a hundred times more 'unsuitable' material than a family musical ever could. Perhaps this lady needs to ask herself if she wants her TV license refunded ! I think she's embarrassing herself. It's a pity she can't find something worth-while protesting against ... like animal cruelty. Or cruelty to children.


Bri "

Guess what, Herr May? That schoolmistress' job and career depend on her decisions as to what is appropriate for the children under her care to watch. She went and watched WWRY for herself (something she probably should have done before ordering all the tickets, but still), and felt that the dissociative (Matrix programming), innuendo-laden jukebox musical was indeed too adult for the young students. Chances are, some parents would not have exactly appreciated their children being exposed to smuttily-dressed adults making sex-oriented jokes across the backdrop of an Orwellian dystopian society - a foreseeable scenario which could have potentially put Docherty's own livelihood in jeopardy. Even the West Dunbartonshire Council education chief, Terry Lanagan backed Mrs. Docherty's decision, saying: "I stand by her judgment."

Let your EXPERT OPINION advisers illustrate how senseless Permo's online tantrum really is, sentence-by-sentence:

-It's a little far-fetched of this lady to imagine that all that money can be refunded on just one person's (rather misguided) opinion !
Such a kind and noble way to address a customer who has special issues with their service! Bravo! Hairzilla doesn't sound bitter or defensive at all!

-People's jobs and careers depend on productions like these.
Really, BM? I highly doubt that the cast and crew of WWRY will be cast out as street urchins due to the cost of refunding the school's money. Quit being a fucking drama queen.

-I imagine she would have to go about proving that our show was able to damage children. It's nonsense, really, of course.
Well, surely it would be no more damaging to the children than oh say, their smutty father leaving their mother for some EastEnders tartlet shortly after the birth of his third child, right Bri?

-The average South Park episode contains a hundred times more 'unsuitable' material than a family musical ever could.
Uhh...what is that even supposed to mean? Obviously the headmistress would never allow the schoolchildren to watch South Park during instructional hours, so that's a completely irrelevant, knee-jerk response.

- Perhaps this lady needs to ask herself if she wants her TV license refunded !
Again, irrelevant. What Mrs. Docherty watches on television during her free time, in her own home has no relation whatsoever to her choosing what is or isn't appropriate for the school curriculum.

- I think she's embarrassing herself.
Yes, BM. SHE'S the one who should be embarrassed here, clearly. Because none of your countless online butthurt bitchfits are cause for humilation. No, not at all...asshole.

- It's a pity she can't find something worth-while protesting against ... like animal cruelty.
Way to dismiss the woman's work in the educational system, shaping children's futures and all.You know what, BM? Maybe she would be just as interested in "animal rights" as you [supposedly] are...if she was also fronting a political diversion group and had the prospect of impending knighthood as a reward. May we remind you Herr May, that up until a couple of years ago, your entire history with animals consisted of a massive collection of leather clothing and a dead cat named Squeaky. And let's not forget your questionable presence at the scene of a recent cat death.

 - Or cruelty to children.
You know what would be a cruel thing to do to children? Expose them to Brian May and the fucking crapfest that is WWRY: The Musical.

TAGS: BRIAN MAY COMING UNHINGED, MENTALLY UNRAVELLING FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE, PUKE RIDDEN FAIRYTALES, SCOTLAND YARD IS COMING FOR YOU, ANCIENT UNCHAINED EVIL, DEMONS, TULPAS, REPTILIAN SYMPATHISERS, SOAPBOX RANTS, EYEBAG WORLD RECORD HOLDERS, DEFENSIVE DIVAS, HISSYFITS, WE WILL ROCK YOU MUSICAL TOO SEXY FOR KIDS, THE SUN, BRIAN MAY HATES TEACHERS, BRIAN MAY HATES EVERYTHING,  DRAMA QUEENS, ORANGE YOGURT, BUTTHURT BITCHFITS, PERM CARE AND MAINTENANCE, ONLINE OUTBURSTS, QUESTIONABLE CAT DEATHS, BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE, SMUTTY JUKEBOX MUSICALS

BRIAN MAY COMING UNHINGED: "AFRICAN-ENGLISH ARE LIKE ANIMALS!!"

May mugs for the camera at Illuminati circle-jerk event "VH1 Rock Honors".

The EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS at WTYS have been spending a lot of time working on our "Freddie Mercury's Alters" series, and as such haven't been keeping as keen of an eye on Permo's Soapbox rants as we would usually like.

At this point, several articles deep into our "BRIAN MAY HATES ANIMALS" series, we thought there was no way that any of Rich Uncle Eyebags' borderline-zoophilic rants could ever again shock, startle, or surprise us. We thought that the animal thing was getting played out, and that we'd pretty much covered it all. Let the following excerpt from May's Soapbox serve as a lesson: NEVER underestimate the insanity levels of honorary "doctor", reptilian sympathizer, and philandering cheat Brian May...or the lengths he will go to fool the public into buying his "animal rights" (politcal diversion) campaign:

**Thu 03 Feb 11**



THIS MAKES ME SEE RED


[Referring to BBC News - Alien invaders: American mink removed from Scotland]
This carnage is everywhere ... what are they going to do next? ... start annihilating African-English people in Brixton??? Just because they weren't there 100 years ago? It's exactly the same principle.
It's insane. Can you people not understand this is WRONG? Two wrongs do NOT make a right.

Call yourselves conservationists? You are not conservationists. You are interfering blunderers, trying to restore a situation which has already disappeared. You do not care for any animal - so do not pretend that you do. All you care about is some fanciful conceit in which you, the heroes, are playing God ... trying to re-create what you regard as a desirable world. For who ?
STOP THE KILLING !!!!
ALL of this is our fault ... it needs us to find proper humane solutions - and every animal matter.
It is not the minks' fault they are there. This is sheer brutality.
And must be stopped - YOU must be stopped - you stupid, stupid, insensitive, ignorant pseudo-scientific people.
Bri
© brianmay.com

Wow, Dr. May. To compare compare the mindless, violent slaughter of the Afican-English people because of their skin colour to common pest control techniques used to help restore the balance of an eco-system which has been thrown WAY off-kilter by an alien species (American mink)? Just...wow. Someone seems to be trivialising genocide and racial intolerance just a tad, don't they?

The man is sounding more and more dangerously unbalanced by the day...

In other BM news, Hairzilla has also been "crowing" about a proposed corvid cull, delivering the usual fake-animal-concern rhetoric along with the requisite vaguely-threatening concluding sentence. Crows, a member of the corvid family, are highly esoteric/occult creatures - as are nearly all of the varieties of woodland creatures that May purports to defend on his Soapbox.

"Most European traditions view crow as bad omens, problems and death. Many AmerIndian tribes believed Crow was both keeper of the sacred law and trickster. The Celts believed that Crow was an omen of death and conflict. She was associated with death transitions. Another belief was that the birds were faeries who shape-shifted to cause troubles. Magickal qualities included bringing knowledge, shape-shifting, eloquence, prophecy, boldness, skill, knowledge, cunning, trickery and thievery. In the Middle Ages, people believed that sorcerers and witches used the symbol of Crow’s foot to cast death spells."

Mmmhmm. It's easy to see why crows tug at BM's evil heart strings...

BRIAN MAY CAUGHT IN CAT-TORTURE SCARE

While we were not able to find any photos of Herr May with a cat (which is probably a good thing), here's photo of Brian looking like he's ready to positively chow down on an innocent baby fox-type creature.

WE THINK YOU SHOULD HAS RUNG THE ALARM FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO HEAR REGARDING FELINE SOUL-EATER "DR." BRIAN MAY, COMMANDER OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE'S FALSE LOVE OF ANIMALS - AND NOW THE MAINSTREAM PRESS HAS PUBLISHED A BIZARRE AND STOMACH-TURNING TALE OF HOW PERMO WATCHED A PRECIOUS CAT SUFFER TO DEATH - JUST FOR THE SADISTIC THRILL.

THE LANCASTER GAURDIAN GLOSSES OVER THE STORY WITH THE SUGAR-COATED HEADLINE "DYING CAT COMFORTED BY QUEEN LEGEND". THE ARTICLE PURPORTS THAT MAY "TRIED TO SAVE A DYING CAT", WHICH HAD BEEN "HIT BY A CAR", BY "STROKING IT FOR HALF AN HOUR - UNTIL IT DIED". REALLY, BRIAN? LAST TIME I CHECKED, PETTING A CAT WHILE EATING ITS SOUL TO STAY ALIVE FOREVER REALLY ISN'T THE BEST WAY TO "SAVE" A CAT'S LIFE...FIRST I THINK I'D TRY TAKING IT TO THE FUCKING VET! EVEN IF THE CAT WAS GOING TO DIE ANYWAY, THE VET'S OFFICE WAS ONLY MINUTES AWAY - EUTHANASIA WOULD HAVE BEEN FAR MORE  HUMANE THAN MAKING THE POOR KITTY SUFFER THROUGH RICH UNCLE EYEBAGS' SIGNATURE DEATH GRIP AND TERRIFYING SOUL SUCKING FOR AN ENTIRE HALF HOUR OF AGONIZING INTERNAL HEMMORHAGING! BASHING ITS SKULL IN WITH A ROCK WOULD'VE BEEN A NICER SENDOFF FOR THE POOR THING, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

"May was driving when he approached the cat lying in the road. He spent about a half an hour with it, stroking it until it DIED"

SEVERAL CONCERNED CAT LOVERS HAVE COMMENTED ON MAY'S PERVERSE FELINE DEATH-STROKE INCIDENT, LEAVING COMMENTS SUCH AS THE FOLLOWING:

# Graham simpson Says:

December 6th, 2010 at 7:36 am
How about take the cat to a vet!?????
you sat their and let it die , you cruel cruel cruel cruel cruel man!!!


EmmHaych
Thursday, November 25, 2010 at 07:28 PM
If he was caring he'd have just rung its neck as soon as he found it and not wait 30 minutes for it to die in agony.

HollyBridge
Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 02:07 PM
Instead of sitting there as in some publicity stunt why didn't he drive it to the nearest vets?? Im sure there was a vets surgery in the village or near by.. 30mins is a long time to sit and do nothing to help!!

INDEED, THIS ISN'T HERR MAY'S FIRST TIME AT THE PROVERBIAL CAT-KILLING RODEO. THE ILL-KEMPT INCUBUS WROTE A SONG CALLED "ALL DEAD, ALL DEAD" IN REFERENCE TO HIS DECEASED CAT, SQUEAKY.

OUR EXPERT OPINION ADVICE TO ANYONE LIVING IN THE SURREY AREA: IF YOU WANT THEM TO LIVE, KEEP YOUR CATS THE HELL INSIDE! ONCE MAY GETS A TASTE FOR THE BLOOD, FLESH, AND LIFE ESSENCE OF A NEW SPECIES OF ANIMAL, HE CAN'T GET ENOUGH.

REMEMBER THE DODOS...

TAGS: BRIAN MAY HATES ANIMALS PART INFINITY, CAT KILLERS, SOUL EATERS, ANCIENT UNCHAINED EVIL, CAT TORTURE SCARES, GAY SCARES, CATS IN STUMP MODE, COW CATS, DEEP CHEEK PAIN, EVIL RINGLEADERS, SINISTER MASTERMINDS, BUTLERS FRIGHTENED FOR THEIR LIVES, RAMSHACKLE VULTURE CAGES, TINY SLAVES WHEREABOUTS UNCLEAR, TINY SLAVES FEARED DEAD, CUSTOM BUILD CAT DISPLAY CASES, E.T. WHITE IN THE RIVER, GENE WILDER RED IN THE RIVER, BIRDS OF A FEATHER, TIM CURRY ILLUMINATI SLAVE?, BLADE DOLLS BEHAVING BADLY, RUSTY LYNN CAT CUSTODY BATTLE, BRODIUMS, BANANA BEARS, MEOWMAS, PIPINIS, MOO MEN
 
STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT IN-DEPTH ARTICLE, THE HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED "FREDDIE'S ALTER EGOS, PART DEUX: BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY - THE DEATH OF FARROKH BULSARA", COMING SOON FROM YOUR EXPERT OPINION ADVISERS.